4 Agreements

hough I?m obviously entirely immersed in the world of Personal Growth, it still amazes me how wonderfully simple yet incredibly profound some of its lessons can be.

Take, for example, the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, which I just recently read.

Ruiz advises his readers to set aside the negative ?agreements,? or, in other words, belief systems they?ve made with themselves, others, and/or society (things like ?I?m stupid? or ?I?m not good enough?) in favor of following the four agreements he puts forth for attaining your highest self and happiest life.

Great ideas in theory, but sometimes things tend to be infinitely more difficult to put into practice.

Yet, Ruiz makes it seem pretty simple and straightforward.

The four agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word. Basically, explains Ruiz, your word is equal to your power, or in some cases even magic, so use it for good, not bad. He especially condemns gossip, calling it ?black magic.?

2. Don?t Take Anything Personally. I think this may well be the hardest agreement to subscribe to, but it?s certainly powerful and important. Ruiz says, ?Nothing other people do is because of you.? It?s kind of eye-opening because in we all tend to be self-focused. But if someone says or does something negative to you, remember, it is about them, not you. You will suffer for nothing by thinking or worrying about it.

3. Don?t Make Assumptions. This is my favorite, and something I already adhere to. Everyone makes assumptions all the time. The problem, says Ruiz, is that we believe they?re the truth, which is just not the case. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take things personally, and conflict ensues. The way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions and communicate. Not so hard if you think about it.

4. Always Do Your Best. While your best might vary from day to day, depending on circumstances or how you feel, always do it. No more (because if you try too hard, you will expend too much energy and your best will not be enough) and no less (because that causes frustration, self-judgments, guilt and regret).

Above all, says Ruiz, if you break one of the agreements, don?t give up. Simply start over immediately. Eventually, the new agreements will become habit and replace the old negative agreements that used to fuel our lives.